July 15, 2008

Free man?

"Nothing, aint me"
It makes my mind wanders if you longing to be free - from me.
"If one day you wanna be 'free', tell me.. i will let you be."
The love is deep, my heart cant deny that.


One performance down, i feel upset 'cos i feel we can have do better. But we bonded during this period of time. And i start to know that in life, just a few can make you really happy.. the rest matters though, but not as much to those. You know what, i love you girls in some way.

There's another performance coming up this sunday. It's a Shape magazine event at Padang that my friend ask me to help out.. i wonder will she suddenly say: "Hey, we no need dancers anymore.. i'm sorry." Then there goes the effort we put in.

Then there's this Niu Nai campus concert.. should i take part too? I should since my heart say yes?

Do i have the strength and energy? I'm trying not to be tired but some people keep saying, "You FYP one mah, so slack." If i bloody ask you to face the computer from 8 30 - 6 everyday then at night go dance.. you tired anot? I aint no supergirl or i dont have the body like some other who can tahan.. and i too need to spend time with my boyfriend/family/friends.

I aint understanding? Think about it.. i really did. I know i am a super indecisive person/ for some things you call me stupid/ blur cock.. you think i want those? For god sake, i'm super sensitive with words that i will relate to everything.. then thinking why did you despise me? thinking where do you see my pride? ..down the floor? And i seriously think fcuk/ccb/some-other-TOOT is a harsh word though to you is an emphasise on words.

I'm not saying i'm super mighty or perhaps in some sense i did that.. But certain things cant be compare.. everyone have different level so you cant judge them the way you are. Then there's some stuff that have to be say out so people will understand. I dont have supernatural power that i can deduct everything.. and if i react slow, cant you just playback? Chill man, be tolerant.

Then when i tired or too concentrate on certain stuffs, i forget what i am being told before. Or sometimes people told me two to three times then my mind will generate those in.. is being lag wrong?

Do you know some actions/harsh words makes me feel insecure?

I wanna get away, sleep all day doing nothing. Or maybe go to a faraway land, where i can see money and food rolling.

I like this moment and i hope it will stay.. where there is Dad, Mum, Bro, Bro Gf, boy and me. Yea, and there's Grandma, Tweety + Astro Boy + Green Clover bear too.

Happy Birthday Dad & Xue!

Goodnight, see you Mr lab?

There's this game
where it will never end
'cos both are trapped
in each other heart
there's no key to it
and there's a lock
that will never be open

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