September 5, 2008

I'm all mix up.

NowIamfuckingsad. I'venoideawhatmymindisgoing, allthingsseemswrong. Idontaskforhelp? Idontspiceupthings.. I'mafuckingboringperson. I'mbloodylistless.. I'mblooodyuseless. AllthewhileinthetimeIspenddancing, Ifuckingdidntimprove. I keepsayingIknowIknow, IlackthisandthatbutIdidnimproveasmuch. Ididntryashardasotherpeople. YouthinkIwantthis? I'mtooaroutineperson, maybetoospoiltorspoonfeed. IdontknowwhatmorecanIdo? IfIimprovebloodyhellmuchindancewillitmakemeabetterperson? WillIhavemorefriends? Ihatethiskindofenvironment. I'minmyownshellinmyowncomfortzone, bloodylazyandall. Iconcentratetoomuch, Ineglecttherest. Ithinkmoolahsisthebestoftheworld? I'mfuckingmateristicthatIwannaownthewholeworld? Igetsomestufffromthere, perhapsIdecline. Iamdamnrebelious, maybeforyouaskmetoimproveIdont. Ihatemystupidface, Ihatelookingsotiredeverytime, Iamsosososososoemotional, Ihatemyownhabits, Ihatemyfearofbeingaloneyetmakingmyselfalone. Ihatethisworld, I'vegotnotruefriends, Ionlygotmymum. Wherearetheonewhocare? Whyarethingsgettingsoharsh, especiallythewayyoutalktome? Intwentytothirtyyearsdowntheroad, Iwillbehavethesame? I'llboredyoutodeath, yourfeelingsformewillfade? Ithurtstoomychlikethornsinmyheart. Igotnomotivationfromthosewords, cosI'mrunningaway. Idontdaretofacealotofstuffs. Iwillimprove, Ibloodywillimprove. I'mjustagrannythatnagsallday. Ieatlikeapig, Isleeplikepig, Ispendmoneylikewater. Iamdamnfuckinguseless. I'vegottweety, tomorrowwillbeabetterday. Ishouldlearntogrowup, learntoacceptthisworld. Iwantautopiaworld, nocomparison, allthesame.. inblackandwhite, ormaybewherejesusloveme? Iaintnochristianbutihopesomeonelovemeashardasiloveyou. Igottocatchsleepfortomorrowwar. I'mfeelingokayaftertypingallthis. I'veforgeteverything. I'mthinkingIamreallygood.. I'mahappypersonfullofexpression, fullofconfidence. Iexcelindancelikehowangelsanddevilsdoes. IhopeIwillsleepandneverwakeupdreaming. JessicaLimisamistake?

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