September 22, 2008

Sunny Yellow Banana Day

Last night it was with thunder storms and lightnings. The rain was so big that I couldnt see myself. It scare the hell outta me 'cos I wasnt emotionally right.

I tossed the whole night and cant sleep thinking why things will happen this way. Why can there be a 'nurture feeling trial' when feelings wasnt at all kept or put away. I cant take the fact that I feel that I have lost.

I got a call from I-know-Important jus now and she asked if I was okay. She asked me to go on and dont bother about him. What is mine is mine, what never mine will not be. She believed that if he and me are meant to be together, we will. She said she will be just a call away.

I know I am being childish by saying I dont believe in such things and all was bullshit. What he done saying he love me so let me go in hope of my happiness was his. I know I am the one who say let go first but I receive many hints or I treat them for being over sensitive. I do it 'cos I thought you will be happy yet you prove to me so fast. So fast that my heart cant breathe properly. Or perhaps it just happens, time just fall so right exactly after we broke up.

I am disappointed not only to him but to alot of relationship out there. I know I am taking things too harsh and keep blogging about how sad am I.. or how things are going betweem him. If I dont blog out I may explode. Dad and Mum always say the same thing.. "Aiyah, you still young and not say you look so horrible.. you will find a better one."

I know I may but I dont know.

Mum say I am so rude to family members and cant stop going out. I'm sorry but when I am home, all in my mind was him. When in late nights, all my mind was him. Now everywhere was memories, the people when I dance is becoming memories too.

I'm going to sentosa again. I hope the sun burn me all out. Dance at night, I hope it tired me all out. There's still no sign of work, stupid Cotton On. Since you recruit me, I've only work a day.

After this post I wont say so much chunk about how much I am sad and all already. I promise to post up lifely pictures that are kept be it 2 months ago or 1 day ago. School reopen soon which may be a good thing. I will get to meet new people and feel happy. I shall try to talk and not be so quiet.. TRY.

It's a sunny yellow banana day, do the 'cowcolicious' banana way.

Suddenly I think of Sandra's favourite song.

Thanks to those who care. I am okay and he is too. We will both be very happy people. Both of us just need time and I want to be his friends still. I dont like to be strangers in the same club.

I will dance very hard and eat very hard.

That sun where
both of us will be
looking at

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