November 6, 2007

So much to say.

Hello people, i lost myself again.

There's so much things going through my mind but i dont know where to start.

Alright, let me start about school. School is pretty alright, classmates as usual but lecturers are strict. The amount of load for project deadlines are really near, it's like every week there's homework that you cant breathe. And then you still slack like nobody business, fall asleep in lectures and keep eating non-stop.

Dance. I kind of think i'm lag behind or i'm just staying in this spot. I kinda get lazy to even do stretching or even bounce a little.. and for that i suppose my bones are hardening. Anyone care to help to break my bones? :)

Danceworks 2008 is so near and i cant think of ideas for the theme, i get lazy or reluctant to go for meetings too. What the hell wrong with me? Aint i get hyper when it comes to moveeeee? And sorry group mates, i'm always late.

Friends. I miss alot of them, especially secondary school friends - Besties. I miss Eugenia and Yang too. It's funny that in my mind i'll always want to meet them but i didn ask them out or vice versa. I think my mind work so differently from my actions or perhaps i'm just pure lazy. I hope i would see them soon, and i feel sorry at times for besties cos they just live a few blocks away, and it've been months.. or i've another priority now?

Boyfriend. We pretty love each other, there's a fact and truth in our heart. But i pretty dont get it why does we always get upset/angry/frustrated for small things. Sometimes we sees into our past, and then there's doubts. We fear, we fear that one may run away. And sometimes those weird feelings inside.. even when we just look at each other, tears drop down. HAH, aint love ironic?

Sometimes it's not even the past, we look into the present. The factors around us are affecting. Maybe it's distance, time, feel, atmosphere, people and alot more. We may take for granted for certain things, and then we hurt each other, indirectly.

I'm not a person who is good with words or can express myself well, and sometimes what i response aint what i'm thinking.. or i may hear wrongly and response the wrong way. Another weird thing is whenever he is so near, i feel that he's so far that i feel sad. I feel empty at some point of time that i wish he will be just beside me for maybe 877676476571123 hours?

It's cold and maybe a war?

You're my antidote
and you're the drug
I cant see that smile
I cant look into you
your voice so near
yet i cant feel

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