January 18, 2009

The battle

There's still no end to it, or perhaps I've lost.

Yesterday before Funka, I've a nicely trim eyebrows by the ah neh - threading. Now my face look kind of different. And you know CNY is coming and to chinese they must trim their hair, so now I did my eyebrows okay? Heh.

Today was suppose to work at Cafe Del Mar, I didn turned up. I didn just run away like that, I called up Kenneth and said I was 'sick'. Literally I am kind of 'sick'. Maybe they will just sack me like they sack the rest of them. Oh well..

Last night I couldnt really sleep and I got so stress up.

There would be two quiz on the monday, one quiz on tuesday. Then mock interview on monday, ITSM and JSP project to be handed up on tuesday. PHP project to hand up on thursday. PHEWwwww. Besides that I keep thinking that Zouk performance is coming, and before that.. on the 28th which is 'chu san' of CNY, I've got my first paper for commn test. To think that 'chu er' ALL my relative is coming to my house, turning my house up side down. Oh my my..

Then I kind of got stress up 'cos I need alot of Moolahs, if I dont work or get sack.. how am I going to save up for Taiwan? Suddenly I hope 12 February faster come, 'cos it marks the end of my poly days BUT I will miss my Still Thinking MI0614 and my new classmates.

And yes, saying about not going to work today.. mum was on cloud nine. She's so glad that I am finally home to accompany her. Some questions pop-up in my mind or I was asked by some, some time ago..

"Is this the life I want? Am I really happy?"

Actually, I dont exactly know what I want with regards to life. I study for the sake of it and it is like proofing to my parents that I will be a good child. It's like telling them I can get a Diploma and step in to the society.. just not letting them worry or perhaps accomplish what they cant in their days.

Maybe Dance is something I want but there are odds.

Whether I am happy anot, it is always the case that when people around am happy.. I will be. So now I asked myself, if they are all sad, should I be happy? So if they are neither happy nor sad, then how am I suppose to be?

I feel I am always living in a way how others should be, cant I just do what I want and what it make me truly a happier person? Like treating myself better?

Hmms.. life always complicated aint it?

But again, I certainly have got nothing to be sad about 'cos my family is understanding.. I got great friends.. I got..

I dont know seems when.. my blog have started to be emotional and yanking over the same thing over and over again. Sorry peeps.

(I kope this from Yang blog, anyone wants to try this? Funny or mushy also can ar.)
Dear Jessica,
I _____ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________.

Life is so pack but still damn empty.

I wonder
if there are
stars tonight

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